Yu Yu Hakusho Know Your Stars
by Heart's Murmur
Summary: I know that there a lot of Know Your Stars fics going around but I think that I can put a special flare to them because of the ones I've seen no offense but they kinda stink. So I hope you enjoy my random Know Your Stars Yu Yu Hakusho Style fic!
1. Yusuke Urameshi

YYH Know Your Stars

Konnichiwa everyone! I know that there have been a lot of these types of fics going around and I'm sorry for having to add one more! Like my summary said… Flame if you like because they will be used to make s'mores! Well I hope you enjoy my Know Your Stars YYH style fic! So read on!

Mr. Disclaimer Dude: Kitsune Chic only owns me, Bucket, and other stuff that belongs to her. She in no ways owns Jimmy Neutron or Yu Yu Hakusho or the Know Your Stars segment of All That.

Bucket: On to the fic!

--Chapter 1: Yusuke Urameshi--

Yusuke walked onto the stage only thinking that he was going to break a rule and that was his goal. He sat in a chair in the middle of the stage not expecting it to collapse underneath him.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." The voice of all doom said as he always did.

Yusuke looked around his head and saw the little stars "Hi little stars" he managed to say before he fell over because his head hurt. Though he was oblivious to what would happen next and make his head hurt even more.

"Yusuke Urameshi... He kissed a llama when he was 5..." the voice said purely enjoying the torment to come.

"What!" Yusuke yelled as he sprang up. "I never kissed a llama! Now Kuwabaka might... BUT NOT ME!"

"Whatever. Yusuke Urameshi... The llama he kissed was really Kuwabara in a llama suit..."

"WHAT?" yelled Yusuke and Carl Wheezer (who was conveniently located back stage) in unison. Yusuke continued speaking while Carl rambled on and on about llamas. "Ok ok. First... Kuwabaka loves kittys not llamas. Second... I already told you! I DID NOT KISS ANY STINKING LLAMAS!"

Yusuke continued fuming and the voice continued taunting. "Yusuke Urameshi... He once had a huge fight with Keiko when he was drunk..."

_Flashback_

"You just can't accept the fact that my plan is better than yours." Keiko said calmly.

"Is not!" Yelled Yusuke.

"Is so!" Keiko retorted.

"Is not!" Yusuke yelled back.

"Is so" Keiko said calmly.

"STOP IT! STOP IT! CAN'T YOU SEE THIS CONSTANT FIGHTING IS TEARING US ALL APART?" Kurama yelled. There was a short pause before Hiei spoke up.

"That was cool, Kurama. I really believed you for a second." Hiei said sounding very out of character.

_End Flashback_

"Well yeah. That happened. But I sweat to drunk I wasn't god!" Yusuke said... Slurring most of what he said.

"Yusuke Urameshi... He might have not been drunk when he fought with Keiko but now he is!" the voice exclaimed.

Yusuke managed to say one slurred sentence before he passed out. "I'm making egg toast for the squirrels mama!"

"Now you know Yusuke Urameshi..."

"I like Elvis halls" Yusuke said before he passed out again.

--END--

I hope you enjoyed my fic and I hope that you will review and read the rest of the chapters when I post them! Grabs RKM and Bucket to go get hot chocolate Bye!


	2. Kazuma Kuwabara

YYH Know Your Stars

**_WHOOT! HERE IS A NOTE! I will soon be changing my pen name from _**Kitsune Chic **_to _**Bara no Namida ni Gekko**_. Thanks for reading!_**

Kitsune Chic: Well here is the second chappie! Oh and I am making a special request that you go and read this little story of mine called A Rose Amidst The Snow. Its really short. I just want people to read it and review it and tell me how good they think it is. So please do that! Well… I have no clue who I am going to torture this chappie so… Kuwabaka will have to do! Because today is Halloween so I am doing the boy with pumpkin hair and a face far scarier than any jack-o-lantern you will ever see! Bye!

Mr. Disclaimer Dude: Kitsune Chic doesn't own any of the YYH characters or anything else she may use that doesn't belong to her. Tootsie-pops.

Bucket: And on to the fic! To the fic to the fic to the fic fic fic!

--Chapter 2: Kuzuma Kuwabara--

Kuwabara walked onto the stage, thinking that, as usual, he was the strongest and that he could defeat the voice of intimate doom. He sat in the chair calmly and waited for the voice to begin his insults. Surprisingly enough, no voice came. Kuwabara looked around and began to wonder where on earth, or whatever dimension that the voice lived in, was. He was beginning to feel a little nervous because the voice wasn't there. After 5 minutes Yusuke ran onto stage and began to run in circles around Kuwabara. 10 minutes later there was a 1 foot deep moat around Kuwabara because the friction of Yusuke's shoes against the floor had worn it down. 1 hour later Kuwabara was beginning to get angry and Yusuke was up to his neck in the moat.

Kuwabara couldn't take it anymore. "I'M GETTING ANGRY! YOU WON'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY!" Kuwabara yelled.

"BUAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The voice laughed quite obnoxiously.

Kuwabara screamed. "You mean you have been here all along!" The fuming voice was heard thought the area as he realized that everything he thought he was going to do was now all down the drain. "I mean… Great! You're here! Now I can pound your face in! … That is if you have a face…" Kuwabara said as he realized that Yusuke had gone and the voice was seemingly… Not in that general area anymore.

"Thanks for helping me out, Yusuke!"

"Eh! It was no problem! Good exercise too! Plus I got Eikichi out of the deal!" Yusuke responded, sounding rather happy.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Screeched a now rather unhappy and fuming Kuwabara.

"Oh that!" Said the 'innocent' voice. "I just gave Eikichi to Yusuke for coming and helping me out by running around you for the past hour!" Said the happy voice.

Kuwabara couldn't take it. He had just been humiliated for the past hour and now evil people… err… voices were giving his kitty away.

"Kuwabara… What will he do next?"

Dumbfounded, Kuwabara sat down in the middle of the stage and some small kid ran up with a lollypop. He asked "Mr. Owl! How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"

"I'M NOT A FRICKIN' OWL YOU LITTLE KID!" Kuwabara yelled, still angry.

"Boy, Mr. Owl! You sure have gotten angry!"

The voice saw… err… heard his opportunity and said "Kuwabara… He's an owl!" As calmly as he could while being really really happy!

"I TOLD YOU FREAKIN' PEOPLE ALREADY! I'M NOT A FREAKING OWL! DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?"

"Yes. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The voice replied to Kuwa's owl ranting. "Now you know Kazuma Kuwabara… The Owl!

--END--

Kitsune Chic: Hehe! I like foxes… Not owls! Lol! Well thanks for reading! Now here are some review replys! See? I R+R and you R+R! Lol!

Zero-Zero-Fourteen: Yeah yeah I know that I spelled it wrong. Oh well! Thanks for telling me! And Happy Halloween!

Dragons Ark: Here's your update! Happy Halloween!

Kato Shingetsu: I'm glad that this one is funnier! Happy Halloween!

Riku's-Kitsune-Mate: Yeah yeah I took your real name out though! Hehe! Sorry about that!

Bucket: And that's all for now! I'm off to go work on my other fics!


	3. Kazuma Kuwabara Returns

YYH Know Your Stars

**_NOTE! I WILL SOON BE CHANGING MY PEN NAME FROM _**Kitsune Chic **_TO _**Bara no Namida ni Gekko**_! OKAY! _**

Kitsune Chic: Heys! Koenma was next on my list but I got a review and they thought I didn't torture Kuwabaka enough (And quite frankly I agree)! So here is dun Dun DUN! Kuwabara Returns!

Mr. DD: Kitsune Chic-san doesn't own YYH, Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (which she had the oppertounity of seeing on the night of 11-19-05 with her best friend RKM) or anything else she may use in this fic!

Bucket: And here we are! Sailing on to the fic 'ore yander!

--Chapter 3: Kuwabara Returns--

Kuwabara staggered back onto the stage after a horrible fight with Yusuke trying to get Eikichi back from him. Tired, the boy plopped down on the single stool placed carefully on the stage, not realizing he was falling right into the trap.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" came the voice as always, startling Kuwabara out of his dreams. "Kazuma Kuwabara… He's really a llama!"

"HEY!" yelled Kuwabara and Yusuke, though Yusuke's voice came from of the stage. Yusuke continued with "I TOLD YOU! I DIDN'T KISS NO STINKIN' LLAMA! OR KUWABARA FOR THAT MATTER!" Kuwabara took up where Yusuke left off "I'M NOT A LLAMA!"

The voice smiled at Kuwabara's stupidity to not notice that he was back in the trap. "Whatever. Kazuma Kuwabara… What are you going to do for a face when the monkey wants his butt back?"

Stunned Kuwabara was silent while Yusuke's laughing was heard from backstage. Finally Kuwabara gathered up some of the little sanity that he never really had from the beginning. "TAKE OFF YOUR FACE AND USE THAT ONE!" Kuwabara retorted.

"Like that one creepy dude from Inuyasha?" The voice asked. Kuwabara was a little confused at this one. "Never mind. I guess you don't know who Inuyasha is. Kazuma Kuwabara… He is gunna have a shoe for a face…"

"What?" Kuwabara more demanded than asked. Just then Yusuke ran onto stage and kicked Kuwabara in the face leaving a shoe mark, then running off the stage.

"See what I mean? Kazuma Kuwabara… He is a clown!"

Botan ran onto the stage and took a handful of red rubber noses and threw them at the boy while yelling "RUBBER NOSES!" After the boy rubbed his face, trying to relieve _it _(A/N: Shudders at the thought of Kuwabara's face Eww…) Botan yelled "You can sit in the shoe!" then realizing the the boys actual size remarked "Then again… You may not fit."

"Okay then…" said the voice, frightened by the girl that was now skipping off the stage calling to no one in particular "Wait for me, wait for me, wait for me!" (A/N: This came from the story Assisting Hiei by Spiritt.) "Well… Kazuma Kuwabara… He was turned into a ferret by his 2nd grade teacher…"

"Yeah… That's true."

_Flashback_

"_Ms. Sevrita! What are you doing?" Yelled Mr. Shanjo, the principal, to Ms. Sevrita who was now twirling a ferret with an orange mop on his head around by the tail. (A/N: I came up with the names. Horrible I know. Sevrita is the last name of my character.)  
_

"_Teaching." Came Professor Sevrita's short reply._

"_Is - is that a student?" Shrieked Mr. Shanjo, terrified.  
_

"_Technically, it's a ferret." Retorted Ms. Sevrita._

_End Flashback_

Kuwabara shuddered. "That was a bad day. I swear she was out to get me!"

"Right…. Whatever. Kazuma Kuwabara…" The voice said as Hiei came onto stage and grabbed the orange haired boy by the shirt and started dragging him off of the stage. "Hey! WAIT! BRING HIM BACK HERE! Oh well. Now you know Kazuma Kuwabara… The boy with a monkey butt for a face."

"WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION WITH MY FACE! AND HIEI?" The boy screamed, making Hiei and the voice flinch.

"Hn?" Was the solitary response from the fire appiration.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Haven't the foggiest."

--End--

Kitsune Chic: Hehe! I like it! And I have only seen The Goblet of Fire out of all 4 of the Harry Potter movies. It was GREAT!

Bucket: Well KC has to go take a shower so bye!

Kitsune Chic: WAIT! I don't know why I am talking but I am! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bucket: Okay! NOW GO TAKE YOUR SHOWER!

Kitsune Chic: What are you? My mother?

Bucket: I ain't yo mama!

Kitsune Chic: Looks at RKM Are you my mommy?

Bucket: SHUT UP! GO TAKE YOUR SHOWER!

Kitsune Chic: Bye!


	4. Koenma

Yu Yu Hakusho Know Your Stars

**_WHOOT! HERE IS A NOTE! I will soon be changing my pen name from _**Kitsune Chic**_ to _**Bara no Namida ni Gekko**_. Thanks for reading!_**

Kitsune Chic: Hey! Sorry for not updating sooner! It's a tough life as an author! Or its just a tough life as a stinkin' 13 year old! WELL plus I haven't updated in a while because I just haven't been sugar high enough to come up with anything! So here is Koenma by request of ZZF! We gave him a _little _too much egg nog…. Eh heh… Next I will be doing Kurama by the request of ZZF-san once again. Jin and Touya will be my Christmas special so sorry! Oh and I will be doing a fic called Advent Calendar in which everyday until Christmas I will have a parody on a Christmas song or story. I hope you all with think its funny!

Mr. DD: Kitsune Chic-san doesn't own Ducks, 2 year olds, pandas, Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy, or Sock-em Bop-ers or Rubix cubes and Johnny Bravo. Oh and she also doesn't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

Bucket: Deck the website with lots of ficcy's! Falalalalalalalala! 'Tis the season to read ficcy's! Falalalalalalalala! Now stop listening to me and go read the ficcy! Falalalalalalalala!

--Chapter 4: Koenma--

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" Echoed the almighty voice through the stage room as Koenma waddled up onto the stage and sat in the car-seat. "Koenma… Despite what he says, he is really 2 years old!"

"What?" cried the ruler of spirit world "I am older that your mom if you can believe it!" Koenma listened as he heard foot steps echo as 'the voice' seemed to be crying and running to a corner.

"I have no mommy! You big meanie head!" cried the voice as he sobbed in the corner. After 5 seconds or so he was back. "Koenma…" The voice began again, all traces of sadness gone from his voice. "He wants to take over earth just so he can have all the sock-em bop-ers in the world!"

"What? That's absurd! I do not want the silly earth toys!" said Koenma, a small vein starting to pop out on his forehead. "Is there anything else you wish to lie about to me?"

"No."

"Oh thank goodness."

"Koenma…" The voice began once again "He needs to get back to work…" but Botan once again ran out on stage and threw a handful of pacifiers at the seemingly toddler.

"Get back to work you toddler!" She yelled much as an angry mother would yell at her disobeying child.

"But they gave me the day off!" Koenma retorted, a whine present in his voice.

"Says who?" responded the hyper blue-haired woman as a mysterious string came into view beside her. The toddler seemed terrified as an evil grin rose to the surface on her face and she grabbed the string. "Want me to pull it?"

"N-no…" The mini ruler stuttered.

"Okay! As you wish!" The woman gave one last evil laugh and pulled the string causing many papers to drop on Koenma's head. "And while you do all this paper work… YOU CAN SIT IN THE SHOE!" (A/N: I know, I know. I used this one before. But I love it! MUAHAHAHAHA!) With that last shout, the blue-haired girl disappeared from the stage.

"Okay, can we get back to me?" said the ticked voice, not expecting a reply. "Koenma… He thinks Yusuke is a panda hooked on….. PHONICS!"

"What? Hooked on Phonics didn't even work for me!"

"Yeah. Whatever." Replied the voice. Suddenly a rubber duck dropped down from the ceiling.

"Hey! You almost hit me with a duck!" cried Koenma.

"Oh, sorry. Now sit still and this time I won't miss!" laughed the voice.

"No!" screeched Koenma beginning to get even more annoyed. "Besides. I'm psychic. I would sense it coming."

"I believe the term your looking for… Is psycho…" retorted the voice. Something else dropped from the ceiling though this time it was a pair of square pants. "Now be a good boy and put on your pants."

"Huh? What do you think I am, a rubik's cube?"

"…Yes. BUAHAHAHAHAHA!" There seemed to be a momentary pause. "I'm sorry but I couldn't resist. Now back to the Know-Your-Stars-y ness of this show. Koenma… He is really a moogle in desguise!"

"What? THAT'S IT! I'M OUT OF HERE!" Shrieked as he tried to get out of his chair only figuring out that he was glued to the chair. "HEY! LET ME GO!"

"Now you know… Koenma the moogle/rubik's cube!"

--End--

Kitsune Chic: Wait! One more sec! Hands all reviewers a Koenma plushie, Yusuke plushie And I don't think you want the Kuwabara plushies. But it you do they are right here! Bye now!


	5. Shuichi Minamono or Kurama

Yu Yu Hakusho Know Your Stars

Kitsune Chic: Hi! I'm bored on thanksgiving so I'm writing this. And now its January 22, 2006. Yawns I'm tired. Sighs I have been feeling really weird and depressed lately. Oh well. On to the fic after a word from Mr. Disclaimer-Dude and Bucket! I will be doing Kurama then Hiei and REMEMBER! Jin and Touya are my Valentines special!

Mr. DD: Kitsune Chic doesn't own leather pants, YYH, or anything else she may use in this fic.

Bucket: To the tune of 'The Sun Will Be Out Tomorrow' The fic will be out today! Bet your bottom dollar this is the chappie!

--Chapter 5: Kurama--

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" Rang the voice through the big room as our favorite redhead walked up onto stage. The redhead said nothing and just sat down on the stool. "Shuichi Minamono… What would you do if you weren't capturing the hearts of girls throught the US and Japan?"

"Well," Kurama began "I think I would be a Rock Star. I have always loved leather pants!" At this, all of the girls in the audience fainted at the thought of Kurama in leather pants. "Wait… what does that have to do with anything? From what I've heard you torment people…"

Kuwabara, his location now known as a dark corner in the giant room screamed "IT'S TRUE!" And went back to his thumb sucking and rambling of what some people believe to be "No more leaches mama, no more leaches!"

"Yeah well, you can't trust everything you hear, pretty boy. Besides. People were beginning to complain." The voice said, a hint of boredom apparent in his tone.

"Eh. That's true." Kurama muttered.

"Shuichi Minamono… He wishes he was a duck… in pink high heels! O-M-Gee wiz gosh golly gosh! Where on earth did you get them!" sputterd the voice with a heavy valley girl accent for the second part.

"Okay, what the heck is up with you and, No! I do not wish he was a duck in pink high heels! And I though you stopped tormenting people!"

"Yeah but they don't have to know that I'm doing this. And what they don't know can't hurt them!"

"Well… I suppose. But what if I tell" Kurama was interrupted as a once again hyper Botan ran up onto the stage and threw some rubber ducks at the cut boy (A/N: I hate to do this chapter because I'm so in love with the cute boy!).

"DUCKS!" She screamed at the top of her lungs before running off of stage.

"Oh… kaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy. After that lovely word from Botan we're back to me! Me, tormenting Kurama. Even though the author loves him."

At this Kurama couldn't help but sweat drop. The random things that people did. "Can we get on with this? I kind of need to go somewhere…."

R-K-M ran in with Italian ice in her hand. "OOH! Do you have to go find Ame? To have fun… Yeah. That's it. _Fun._" R-K-M then proceeded to sit down and eat her blue and yellow Italian ice.

"Okay! Come on! I need you guys to stop interrupting me! I'm trying to do a show here!"

"Okay okay. Gosh. You don't need to be pushy!" R-K-M cried as she stood up to run off leaving "Meanie head" as her parting words.

"Now where was I…" the voice muttered "Oh yeah! Shuichi Minamono… He is really BATMAN!"

"What?" Kurama started before he was interrupted by Hawaii (Note: Hawaii is my friends' nickname).

"Batman? THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP!"

"Okay then. Lets not let Kurama talk!"

"Hey! That's not fair you meanie head!" Kurama whined.

"Shuichi Minamono… His real hair color is duck yellow!" The voice squealed happily.

"What? That makes no sense! My hair has always been this color! You can even ask my mother!"

Just then Ame, the author, ran up. "YOU MADE A RHYME! I LOVE IT! And now I have to go back to typing this fic." Then Ame ran off.

"Okay… That was strange." Muttered the voice. "Ame must be running out of ideas…"

"Hey!" Yelled Ame, "You shouldn't say such mean things!"

"Whatever. Shuichi Minamono… He ate all the crayons in his crayon box!" The voice taunted, getting on the pretty boy's nerves.

"What? No, no. Ame would be the one to do that. Besides she likes to draw. Not me." Kurama responded sounding very matter-of-factly.

"KURAMA!" Ame came running in yelling "I'm going to hurt you!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kurama screamed "I have to go! BYE!" As he started to run off of the stage and away.

The voice seemed to sweatdrop "Ok so now you know Shuichi Minamono the rock star in leather pants…"

--End--

Ame: Hey! Did you all love it? I sure did! Ok next is… Wait. I told you this already… Ok well… Bye! I'm off to go torment my friends!


	6. Jin and Touya

YYH Know Your Stars

Ame: Hiya! And welcome to another wonderful episode of YYH Know Your Stars. This is my long awaited Jin and Touya special!

Bucket and R-K-M: Yeah. It sure has been a long time since you promised this episode!

Ame: Yeah, yeah. I know. Its all my fault. Now I feel really bad! Bad Ame! ((Slaps self))

Mr. D-D: Ame owns only her ideas and the cell phone charm on her phone. Oh and this string.

Ame: ((Pounces at string))

Bucket: Yeah and before you do something even more stupid I think we're going straight thru the drum roll and on to the fic.

Ame: ((Shoots arrow thru a drum rolling down the hill))

Everyone but Ame: ((Sweatdrop))

--Chapter 6: Jin and Touya--

"The exciment explodes, too much for even the big mansion to hold. The shining light too much for the dark of night to hold. But that's not important for I have given Jin candy and am forcing Touya to stay with him! ND NOW THEY'RE OVER AT THE Know Your Stars studio! Let's head over there for my JANUARY (you like that? How I worked a 'special' theme into this?) Jin and Touya special!"

--

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the booming voice rang out over the large stage. Jin was flying around, _very_ happy that 'santa' brought him a very VERY very large amount of candy fro Christmas. Touya glared an icy death glare at the cealing as he thought of ways to kill 'santa' for bringing Jin too much candy. The author, being the 'secret' 'santa' could read Touya's mind and knew that he knew that she knew that he knew she knew that he knew that she was 'santa' and had given Jin all of the candy and she knew of all the ways he was thinking of to kill her. "Umm…" the voice questioned "is anyone listening?"

Touya's icy death daggers seemed to increase in number at this, rewarding him witn a yelp and the continuation of the 'tormenting' rants.

"Right. Jin the candy monster and Touya the popsicle… They only agreed to compete in the Dark Tournament so they could play in a chess tournament!" the voice chimed happily.

Touya just glared at the ceiling while Jin flew around.

The voice seemed to sigh unhappily while something along the lines of 'Man, he is hard to crack and Jin is just too hyper!' The choice cleared its throat and continued on its earlier statement. "And they only entered the chess tournament because the prize was a rare chess set made by Kuwabara!"

At this, Touya glared at the ceiling and simply stated "I don't play chess." while Jin flew around and screamed "CANDY!"

"Uh huh. Touya the popsicle and Jin the overly hyper… They're going to kill me because I know their secret!" the voice tried.

"Go ahead and say it," Touya retorted "I have nothing to hide.

"Oh but you lie." Came the voices snide remark. "Touya the popsicle and Jin the overly hyper elf or whatever he is… They cheated on each other!"

"WHAT!" Touya shrieked "Jin is my friend. FRIEND! Nothing more!"

"Touya! Why would you do that to me!" Jin cried as he flew up to Touya and hit him on the head. Suddenly his eyes changed from blue to red. "JIN MAD! Jin use… CANDY SHOOTER! And mary sue bad so Jin smash them!" and, just as Jin suggested, he began shooting hard candy at Touya.

""Ooh! It seems I have just found a gold mine!" The voice shrieked happily. Once regaining the normal calm composure, the voice continued. "Touya the popsicle and Jin the overly hyper elf…" it was at this point when the voices accent changed from normal to a Spanish accent, "This is Jose calling from Pizza Hut (me no own). I am calling to confirm your order of the five largish pizzas. When would you like them delivered?"

"Huh? We didn't order any pizzas."

"Oh. It seems that I have been mistaken. It was an order for Jin and Touya for seventy two pizzas. Will you be paying by the credit, check, or cash?"

"We didn't order no stinkin' pizzas!" cried Touya. Then he realized. "Jin… Did you order any pizzas?"

Jin smiled like a five year old that knew that the did something wrong but didn't want to admit it. "Maybe…" Jin smiled again.

"And how, may I ask, do you intend to pay for these pizzas?"

"By the cards of credit." Jin smiled that adorable little kid smile again.

"And who's credit card number did you give them?" Touya asked accusingly.

"Yours?" Jin tried

"Oh when I get my hands on you, you little… ELF!" Touya yelled.

After this Touya proceeded to chase Jin around the stage before Jin flew out a window.

"And now you know," the voice continued in his Spanish accent, "Touya the popsicle and Jin the overly hyper elf… Thing."

--End--

Ame: So? How did you like it? Oh and did you like the quick update? I think that this chapter stunk but my two best friends were home sick. Which reminds me I never did call Chidodo like I said I would…. Oh well. At least she doesn't know that.

Bucket: ((Grabs me by the ear)) Come on little girl. We need you to go type your other chappies.

Ame: But… but… Mommy!

Bucket: No buts! And I am not your mommy!

R-K-M: Yeah! I thought I was your mommy!

Ame: Yeah. Whatever. Anyway… Why can't Kurama and Jin type them!

Bucket, R-K-M, Jin, and Kurama: Because they're _your_ fics!

Ame: Well… You heard them. I gots to go!


	7. Hiei

Yu Yu Hakusho Know Your Stars

Ame: WOW! It's been FOREVER since I've updated! I think I've gone through… 4 pen name changes? Sheesh! I hope I haven't forgotten how to write these things! And I hope they're still funny!! Oh, and I have on my waiting list Rinku and Shishi. Or Boton. Or Yukina. Or Genkai. Sheesh, I need to write more.

Bucket: Hey, Ame?

Ame: Yah?

Bucket: You still haven't done a Hiei chapter.

Ame: ((LE SUPAH GASP)) I haven't have I… ((Evil grin))

Bucket and Hiei: ((Scared))

Ame: Hit it, Mr. DD!

Mr. DD: Ame does not in any way own the Know Your Stars segment of All that, Yu Yu Hakusho, an airplane, a pocket watch or a giant robot panda. She does, however, own a shiny pink hula hoop. Yippie.

Bucket: Onto the fic! READ AND ENJOY OR DIE.

--Chapter 7: Hiei—

Hiei glared across the darkened audience as he was dragged and pushed on to the stage by Kurama, Kuwabara, Yusuke, Sensui, Touya, Goku, a Charmander, Link, Gandolf, Santa Claus, and many others. Many tried to stifle their laughter as they watched the small fire demon put up a fight against so many people and few could hold their laughs in when he delivered a hefty kick right into Father Christmas's stomach causing him to stumble backwards a few feet. As they handcuffed the fire demons ankles to the lone stool atop the stage, more giggle escaped. Ah, the yaoi fic possibilities from this setup…

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars," the now familiar voice rang throughout the theater. "Hiei Jaganshi… He likes eating furry little squirrels…"

"Hn."

"Why the squirrel hate, Hiei? They steal your favorite necklace when you were little?"

"No tiny rodent would have been able to get that stone from me. It was an accident," Hiei defended, his voice void of any emotion.

"Right, accident," mocked the voice, "just like when you peed your pants in Maze Castle."

"I never peed my pants in Maze Castle. I have more control over my bodily functions than that."

"Then why did you pee your pants?"

"I didn't. Okay?"

"Whatever you say," the voice concluded before moving on. "Hiei Jaganshi… He's half fire demon, half ice demon, half Christmas tree."

"I am not a human celebratory plant."

"Deny it all you want, Hiei. The fans already know."

The fangirls in the audience squirmed in their seats at being mentioned. They would have already been on the stage tackling Hiei had it not been for their own ankles handcuffed to the chairs.

"Hn."

The voice just kept on going. "Hiei Jaganshi… He collects pink hula-hoops!"

"Hn, what is this infernal thing you speak of," Hiei questioned, unfamiliar to the common human child toy.

"Uhh, never mind then. Hiei Jaganshi," the voice scrambled to think of something to accuse the midget demon of. Suddenly, remembering the author's current relationship, he blurted out "Hiei Jaganshi has a gay panda in his pants!!"

Utter silence.

Yusuke's laugh from backstage broke through the silence which started the fangirls laughing, then the yaoi fans, and then the rest slowly joined in. As the laugher died down, Hiei stated his opinion on the matter.

"Hn."

"What, no denial? You're aren't going to deny that statement," asked the voice.

"Hn."

"And Kurama must have given the panda, didn't he." The yaoi fans snickered and back stage, Kurama's cheeks tuned a dark pink, coming close to matching his school uniform.

"… Hn."

Yusuke didn't even try to contain his laughter. The audience members could hear him back stage rolling around and every few seconds gasping out something about not being able to breathe or a word that sounded suspiciously like 'affair.'

The voice laughed lightly before happily wrapping up his torment for the day event though Hiei wasn't reacting much. "And now you know Hiei Jaganshi, the fire demon with a panda in his pants."

--END—

Ame: So. What did you think? Have I lost my touch?

Bucket: Uhh, yah. Definatley. It sucked.

Ame: ((Crawls into a hole and cries))

Bucket: Serves you right. Meh. Read and review and tell Ame how much she has improved or how much more she sucks now.

Ame: ((Mumbles something unintelligible))

Bucket: And she says that she will be doing Botan next and hopes to have the chapter up by Thanksgiving. BYE!! R+R!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!


	8. Botan

Know Your Stars

Ame: Yay!!! New reviewers!! ((Iz happeh)) Anyhoo, I started writing this chapter more than a year ago, probably. So the second half may seem to be written in a different style and some of the things may not make sense. To you guys or me. ((Sweatdrop)) Anyhoo. I suppose you guys want to read the chapter now, don't you. Well, in that case, here's Mr. DD with the disclaimer. And I have now decided that his first name is Malvolio like from Twelfth Night by Shakespeare.

Mr. DD: Ame doesn't own the YYH characters or Care Bears but somehow she does own a lock of Kurama's hair.

Kurama: HEY!!! How on earth did she get my hair???

Ame: Uhh…. Internet?

Bucket: ENJOY THE FIC!!! ((Is dragged of by the frantic authoress because Kurama is now chasing her demanding his hair back))

--Chapter some-odd: Botan--

"Hello, and welcome to Cooking With Death! I'm your host, Botan! Let's get started!" Everyone's favorite… Or least favorite blue haired ditz was standing on the stage with only a stool to accompany her. It seems she had not yet noticed that there was no Kitchen, much less food to cook. The audience sat confused while some laughed.

"There's no counter, much less food up there!"

"Hey!!! I just said that!"

"Shut up you Narrator!"

It seems someone couldn't hold their peace.

Botan seemed to not be fazed by the outburst, and continued to dice the imaginary apple with her imaginary knife.

"Uhh… Hello?" The Voice of Doom boomed out across the stage and audience, "Anyone know what on earth Botan is doing?"

Mutters were heard, some in agreement some in confusion. The audience was lost in itself, no ones attention on Botan or the Voice.

"Man this is gunna be a long day," the Voice Muttered "Anyway, let's get this show on the road! Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars….. Botan Something…. In her free time she visits the llama farm…"

"Huh? Who's interrupting my show?" Botan looked up from the imaginary rolling pin and pie crust the apple and knife had turned into. Yummy…. Pie….

"Excuse me? This is my show!"

"Then why did I get a note telling me to come here to film my all new cooking show?"

"To get you here without any problems! Now sit on the stool!"

"But I'm making pie!"

"There's no food up there," yelled the audience, authoress, Kurama, Capitan Jack Sparrow, Robin Hood and the looming Voice.

Botan paused as she looked down at the hands of hers that held nothing. She paused. "You got me there." She sighed and walked over to the stool and sat down. "You were saying?"

"Yes." The voice cleared his throat "Botan something…. "

"Hey! I have a last name!" Botan interrupted

"Then what is it?" The voice challenged.

"Uhh…. Just get on with it."

"Thank you. As I was saying. Botan something… In her free time she visits the Llama farm…"

"Llama farm? Do those exist?"

"Sensui had a llama farm, but that's another story."

"For the record, other than llama farms being rare, I HATE LLAMAS!!!!"

"Aww," the voice sobbed "Why you have to be a llama hater, Botan? What did they do to you?"

"They're… They're… They're llamas."

"Ooh, good reason to hate the llamas. But let's continue. Botan the llama hater…"

"I DON'T HATE LLAMAS!!!!"

"But you just said that you did!"

"I LIED!!!!"

The voice snickered. "Botan the lying llama hater,"

"GRR!!!! What is it with you????"

"She's cheating on Koenma…."

"Cheating???? WHY WOULD I CHEAT? Wait… KOENMA???!??!?!!! He's barely out of diapers!!"

"She's cheating on Konema with Kaito."

"Kaito??? Ugg…. HE SCARES ME!!!!"

"Then why are you cheating on Koenmea with him? That just seems to make no sense."

"Yeah, well, you make no sense," Botan shook her fist at the ceiling, very frustrated with the voice.

The voice would have smiled if anyone could have seen him. "If I had a nickel for every time I heard that."

"Yeah, how often do you hear it?"

The voice paused before responding. "I'm not sure."

Botan sat their confused. The voice stayed quiet. The audience joined Botan in the land of confusion, awaiting more torments for the blue-haired reaper. Five minutes passed before an inpatient audience member yelled "get on with it, will ya?!"

The voice snickered. "Botan Hoosie-whatsit. She's not really the grim reaper. She's actually a Care Bear in disguise!"

Botan cocked her head to the side in confusion. "A Care Bear?" Botan paused in confusion then testily asked "what Care Bear am I?"

The voice grinned cheerfully, not that it mattered since anyone could see him anyway. "You're Death Bear!"

"How on earth does that one work out," Botan angrily yelled back before going off on a tangent about how she helps souls get to the afterlife, she doesn't kill them, etc.

"And now you know Botan, Death Bear in disguise so that she can secretly visit the llama farms!"

--END--

Ame: How was that? I even got it up before Thanksgiving, too!

Bucket: Yeah, fantastic.

Ame: Yeah, well, no one likes you. Ever wonder why no one mentions you in their reviews?

Bucket: Yeah, well… Well… YOUR MOM!

Ame: What about my mother?

Bucket: … I dunno.

Ame: Exactly. Now, everyone! Read and review, please! Oh, and if you want to see me do a certain character, feel free to suggest someone! And I have a fantastic torture for Itsuki… MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, and cookies to those who review! LOVES!


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